President Evil Online: The net's ONLY horror n' humor political parody website!

Savage Satire! NeoConspiracies! Terrifying Revelations! Obvious Truths!

I don't know if absolute power corrupts absolutely, but I do know this:

If you're rich enough, you can get away with anything.

Bad Rap

(The OJ Defense Rap)

by D X Stone

I never meant to murder her

I never meant to hurt her, sir

I meant to hurt her furniture

I meant no real harm to her

I'd have never thrown that hatchet

If I didn't think she'd catch it

But be that as it was or were

I never meant to murder her

I never meant to cause her pain

And if I could do it again

I'd prob'ly just stay home in bed

And kill her in my dreams instead!

Remember, too--those gloves don't fit!

That proves I'm innocent, don't it?

But be that as it may or might

I couldn't kill them both that night...

The reason is: My knees are bad!

And I'm too nice--I can't get mad!

And I was practicing my swing--

And sleeping! Yeah, yeah--that's the thing!

I was asleep and chipping shots!

I also tend to bleed a lot--

But there's no law against it so

I leave blood everywhere I go!

That's right, that's right!--so anyway

Those lyin' po-lice in LA

Are racists! The entire staff!

Not one asked for an autograph!

They prob'ly killed those two themselves!

Or maybe cocaine-dealing elves

With magic powers had them whacked...

That sometimes happens! It's a fact!

This mystery is still unsolved!

Who knows who else might be involved?

Maybe just some lone wild wacko--

Or perhaps an alliance of Big Tobacco

With the lib'ral media--and UFO's!

Who can say? Who really knows?

I never meant to murder her

I never meant to hurt her, sir

I meant to hurt her furniture

I meant no real harm to her

I'd have never thrown that hatchet

If I didn't think she'd catch it

But be that as it was or were

I never meant to murder her...

Intro to Evil Incarnate 101	The Lovely Dick Cheney Page	Four More Beers, Quick!	ScaryWorld	Stoopidity for Dummies	Our Leaders Are Chucky-Dolls	Bob Dylan Public Service Message

Meet the REAL Fockers!	Revenge of the Living Rummy	The Halliburton Horror	President Pinhead	More Stoopider Even	Obscenity of the Week	Flying Crazee Clown Faces!!!

Millions are Horrified!!!	The Scary News	The Bipolar Bowler	More Funny Poem-Things	Pig-Mittens!!!	Michael Jackson Has 17 Assholes!

Evil Alien Clone EXPOSE!	The Surreal News	The OJ Simpson Defense Rap	Who The Hell Am I, Anyway?	Does This Look Like a Bigfoot To You?	Anne Coulter Alien Anal Probing Scandal!