President Evil Online Presents:

The Scary News

  Scary! New! Bi-Weekly!

The Hideous Weeks in Review

4/08/05 - 4/14/05


Top Headline:

Delay Shits Self on Congress Floor


In Other News:

Halliburton Caught Overcharging Again

Greenspan Forecasts Golden Showers

Snuggles Held in Robbery Case

Does Christian Prayer Kill?


Scary News Archives

3/25-4/7/05 (all news canceled on account of Pope's death)

3/11-3/24/05

2/25-3/10/05


FAVORITES: News That NEVER Gets Old

Dick Cheney's Head Explodes!

Gannon/Guckert Story Rumored Buried In Deep Hole Just Outside Vegas

 

 

 

   

Top Stories
 

Tom Delay Shits Self In Middle of Senate Floor

"I feel vindicated, finally," said the long-time Senator on his recent action, taken purposefully and with quite specific intent. "This was my final cry of outrage and protest against the utter corruption and filth I see everywhere around me in this hallowed chamber, except for me, of course, and my closest friends...

read the rest

     
 

 Halliburton Overcharges $10B on White House Paint Job

Once again Halliburton has been caught red-handed attempting to bill the government over 20,000 times the worth of actual work done; and this case is as high-profile as they get. The repainting of the White House has been wreathed in controversy, ever since President Bush announced his plan to turn the White House completely black nearly a month ago.

read the rest

     
 

Greenspawn Forecasts Golden Showers for All

According to Fed Chairman Alan Greenspawn, Grand Poobah of Moneyville, USA, very soon average Americans will finally begin to feel the warming effects of trickle-down economics. "It's about to hit 'em all right in the kisser," he said at a recent ...

read the rest

     
 

Fabric Softener Bear Held As Robbery Suspect

A long string of bank robberies in the Dallas area is finally over, say authorities at the FBI. The alleged culprit now in custody: None other than Snuggles the Fabric Softener Bear!

"We had him on security cam, several times, but we were having a hard time getting an ID," says rookie agent John Cooper."He just looked so fuzzy in all the shots; now we can see why."

read the rest

   

 

 

Does Christian Prayer Have The Power To Kill?

Recent experiences of both the Pope and Terry Schiavo suggest that hordes of Christians praying for a person's well-being in an organized and focused way may actually do more harm than good.

read the rest

     

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